NBC 2 News online reports…

67-year-old attack victim uses ‘Three Stooges’ defense

“I had watched the Three Stooges cartoons a long, long time ago. I actually wanted to hook his neck with the front part of my cane, I wanted to hook him and I wanted to pull him inside my kitchen,” Henrietta Lopez said.

67-year-old Henrietta Lopez is describing her first thoughts when she found a man sitting in her car outside of her Corpus Christi, Texas home Thursday night.

“So, he came to me. I don’t know if he was going to attack me or whatever he was going to do, but when he came to me, I let him know that I was not afraid of him and that I was going to take care of him,” Lopez said.

Lopez didn’t have to look very far for a weapon.

“I pulled my cane and I held it just like a baseball bat, I held it and when he came over I just let him have it over the head,” Lopez said.

She says the man tried to block his face with his arm but Lopez just kept on swinging.

“And then he decided, ‘I might as well run for my life because this lady’s not going to give up,’” Lopez said.

After Lopez ran off her would-be burglar, she says officers found him just one street over sitting on a bench, trespassing on somebody else’s property.

“He was sitting in somebody else’s house rubbing his arm, probably rubbing his head so he was sitting there pretending that he lived there,” Lopez said.

The suspect, 18-year-old Jon Michael Perales, was arrested and brought back to Lopez’s home where she identified him as the man she found on her property.

“I told him, I said, ‘Son, I hope this will be the first and the last time that you come into my yard,’” Lopez told 6 News.

And Lopez is positive he did get something out of the experience.

“Something he didn’t want, something he was not looking forward to, and something he’s not going to forget very easily. Every time he walks by my street here, he’s going to remember. And I want him to remember that,” Lopez said.

Excelsior!

Stan Lee Tribute Weekend honors the comics creator’s seven decades of bringing entertainment to the world

One lucky winner will win exclusive VIP Passes for Stan Lee Tribute Weekend May 6-8, 2010

On Thursday, May 6, the N9NE Group with Brenden Theatres and the Palms Casino Resort will present Iron Man 2 Launch Party at the MOON Nightclub. MOON opens to the public at 10:30 p.m. and will feature an “Iron Man” themed night with appearances by Stan Lee and other celebrity guests. General admission applies.

Stan Lee’s Brenden Celebrity Star presentation will take place on Friday, May 7, 2010, the opening day of the new Paramount Pictures “Iron Man 2” film starring Robert Downey, Jr. which Lee served as an executive producer. The ceremony to be hosted by Celebrity Journalist Robin Leach will take place in the Brenden Theaters at the Palms lobby at 7:30 p.m. The Brenden Celebrity Star presentation is co-sponsored by Derrick Taylor’s Comic Oasis.

The weekend wraps with an invited guest tribute reception and dinner May 8, 2010 hosted by the Walt Disney Company and featuring Stan Lee’s Time Jumper. Red carpet arrivals begin at 6:00 p.m. with celebrity appearances. Guests will also preview clips from Stan Lee’s documentary “With Great Power – The Stan Lee Story.” Celebrities from all of Lee’s films and creations have been invited to attend this special event.

To have a chance at winning the VIP passes, visit http://starsamongtheangelsonlineauction.afrogs.org/.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=siQgD9qOhRs

With the world now aware of his dual life as the armored superhero Iron Man, billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) faces pressure from the government, the press, and the public to share his technology with the military. Unwilling to let go of his invention, Stark, along with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), and James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle) at his side, must forge new alliances — and confront powerful enemies: Whiplash and Justin Hammer!

Opens on May 7, 2010 in the USA!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF7Sl9IaMdM

It was better than I had hoped!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEroGys1bSs

The liberals are going to learn to hate this guy with all their heart!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XY0pX5xBGE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQBGbngtv38

Congrats to Scott Brown!  Freedom loving peoples everywhere are dancing in the streets! Barry and friends, not so much!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdvITn5cAVc

So when the party starts bouncin’ and the ladies start bumpin’, tighten up your flow with Rocket Fuel!  Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor -- DAMN!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JpwjnMFlJI

And book my flight to Japan for opening night!  Who’s with me?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONkh786EbSg

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFtb3EtjEic

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NieobapuNs

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mm9K8WnOMQ

Una de mis canciones favoritas en Español es Feliz Navidad!  Gracias, Jose!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMtuVP8Mj4o

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pu-bVrndgY

My favorite Christmas song!  And I’ve had the hots for Cousin Nell since 1983, and I’m not embarrassed to say it!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPaGQEskSKM

Some of the worst ‘selling’ I have ever seen, courtesy of up-and-comer ‘Judo’ Joe Black.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEZgvid1ckk

I found this extended video for the stalled Wrestlicious project, featuring extended promos on the lady wrestlers.  More Draculetta!  Like I said before, this is already my favorite tv show, and it hasn’t even aired!  

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_t-tBkXsKQ

As much as I love Draculetta, an honorable mention must go to White Magic too, as those that know me know that I am irresistibly drawn to pretty, young, well built, crazy women.

Take a peek at the cover of the January issue of Golf Digest.

Analysis over at ABC News…

Golf Digest Asks — What Can President Obama Learn from Tiger Woods?
by Jordyn Phelps

President Obama may have a thing or two to learn from Tiger Woods’ golf game, according to an upcoming article in the January edition of Golf Digest.

But In light of the recent controversy surrounding Tiger Woods’ car crash, there are likely more ways in which the President may wish to distinguish himself from the golf star.

The article lists ten things that the President could learn from the ultra-successful golf star in improving his performance as president, and vice versa, from the perspective of several prominent writers and players.

The magazine cover is a photoshopped image of Tiger Woods in a caddy’s outfit posed behind President Obama as he judges a putt.

…

One of the major lessons that President Obama could learn from Woods is his ability to quickly recover under pressure after a bad hole or two under pressure, writes prominent golf star Arnold Palmer.

“Woods is a good role model — not because he would make a good president (he wouldn’t and neither would Phil Mickelson or anyone else who has spent his working life traveling between driving ranges on private jets), but because he is such a complete master of his talents and ambitions, and because he has always been able to pull himself together after setbacks that would have ruined the rounds, or even the careers, of lesser players,” Palmer says.

This neat animation from The Far East includes speculation about Tiger’s bride slapping him silly while thinking about the alleged other woman, and chasing his SUV down the road at 2:30 AM with golf club in hand and smashing his car’s rear window in a fiery rage.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE

www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0ke3C9geBw

www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-UACM_8q_Q

Barack Obama’s shills went around telling anyone that would listen that he was a supremely cerebral man, and in fact an accomplished law school professor.  Well, like many things about old Barry, when you actually check his resume you discover that his giddy white liberal advocates overstated things, again!  Turns out he was never a full professor, and not even an assistant or adjunct professor, but rather a lecturer.

But evidently he doesn’t know much about the law, and the presumption of innocence in particular, when he casually announces that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed will be convicted and executed, but later realizes that his comments could be seen as swaying the potential jury pool and jeopardizing the US Government’s criminal case against KSM.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PED12sz7hbk

Obama: “I don’t think it will be offensive at all when he’s convicted and when the death penalty is applied to him.”

Obama: “Look — what I said was people will not be offended IF that’s the outcome. I’m not pre-judging, I’m not going to be in that courtroom, that’s the job of prosecutors, the judge and the jury.”

Like so much in Barry’s life, his excuse doesn’t hold water.  Clearly, he didn’t say ‘if,’ but when.  Now the white liberal peanut gallery has to go out and plausibly explain how their fearless leader didn’t say what he clearly said.

QUESTION: And to President Obama, you are a proponent of a nuclear-free world, and you’ve stated, first of all, you would like to visit Hiroshima and Nagasaki while in office. Do you have this desire? And what is your understanding of the historical meaning of the A-bombing in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Do you think that it was the right decision?

Enjoy the answer!

So what happens when 19-year-old Jonathan Vargas wins $35 million in the Powerball Lottery?  Well, first he evidently hired a talented psychic to peek into my rich fantasy world, and drew inspiration for his vision for 21st century womens pro wrestling, Wrestlicious.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffcNrkNehFw

Well, to be more fair, clearly he also drew inspiration from the 1980s syndicated tv show, GLOW, The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. This is evident from the set design, the comedy skits, the individual lady wrestler raps, and the campy characterizations.

Word is Vargas is financing this all himself -- a very foolish thing for him to do.  It would probably be better to front some initial cash, create a slick presentation and get some  business loans and line up some investors (particularly a cable tv channel, if he could swing it).

Instead, he appears to be what is commonly called in wrestling circles as a ‘Money Mark.’  That is, a fan with a bankroll who falls prey to some fast-talking wrestlers, and finances a dead-end promotion that lines the wrestler’s pockets and it just goes nowhere.  The fact that he has evidently been talked into an on-screen role is evidence that he may be quite gullible, indeed.

A bad signis that one of his main wrestlers, Lacey Von Erich, has already signed with TNA, Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, so she won’t be a regular on Wrestlicious if it ever does see the light on day.

Word is that Wrestlicious has been in development for quite a while, with a few false starts and quite a few delays.  Though they have threatened several release dates, none of them have panned out. I wish them luck -- I’d certainly watch the show.  But in the end, I think nothing will ever wind up on tv, and Vargas will be short $35 million when this is all said and done.

As a final thought, I admit like all the Wrestlicious talent, but I invite readers to take a wild stab at which one of them featured in the musical part of this promotional video is my kinda’ girl!  Besides Leyla Milani, or course (I can’t make it too easy, can I).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af1h4ibpKJA

On November 13th, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife.

Deep down, he knew she was right. But he also knew that someday, he would return to her.

With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of his friend, Oscar Madison. Several years earlier, Madison’s wife had thrown him out, requesting that he never return.

Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy?

Our friends at the North Carolina Education Lottery have created a great new $5 Lottery Card…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OnB_jalI4U

www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7oBeQ4Y6xo

It appears that our friends in the Land of the Rising Sun decided to make a brief musical video of one of my wildest fantasies.  I am forever grateful!  Oh mama!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUbFX6KendY

The great New York Post reports that the usual suspects are dead set against a postage stamp

Benny Hill not fit for stamp?

Britian’s postal service has rejected “Benny Hill” for a stamp because his girl-chasing ways are no longer politically correct.

Royal Mail, as the post office is called there, had been considering a stamp to honor the famously naughty British comic as part of group of stamps to mark the 40th anniversary of his network, ITV, according to a report yesterday in London’s Daily Telegraph.

But, according to the minutes of a committee making the decision, the PR arm of the Royal Mail raised an objection saying Hill’s antics were “in direct opposition to [the] company’s policies on harassment in the workplace.”

“Benny Hill” ran on British TV for 20 years — from 1969-89 — and was one of its first and most successful exports. For a generation of Americans in the 1970s, it was the first British TV show they ever saw.

The show was a half-hour sketch comedy, full of slapstick and scantily clad girls (“Frasier” star Jane Leeves was a “Benny Hill” girl for a short time) usually being spied on by the leering Hill.

Alfred Hill, the actor who played Benny, died in 1992.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4Piuuqqs10

I saw this video on YouTube making the rounds. New Mexico’s women’s soccer star Elizabeth Lambert -- young, athletic, photogenic, and a natural heel getting a little bit of notoriety online.

She’s a real-life heel. What a woman!

On the November 5, 2009 edition of TNA Impact, TNA owner and bigshot Dixie Carter decided to open the show with a video of a speech she gave in front of much of the TNA roster of wrestlers.  It was a strange presentation, as the clearly nervous Carter basically ordered them all to support her 100% and not dare question her leadership (even though her track record as head of TNA invites questioning).

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wn13PwaRQ6s

Well that was weird.  Who wants everybody in TV Land to see your boss threatening to fire you unless you fall in line behind her questionable business moves, like signing TNA into some kind of ‘partnership’ with Hulk Hogan?

So I had some thoughts about this strange segment and emailed them to Bryan Alvarez, host of Wrestling Observer Radio, and he decided to read my email on the air and address my comments.  I’m glad to report that we are overwhelmingly on the same page.  Enjoy this brief segment from his show.

Subject: Dixie Carter to TNA Roster:  Demands 100% Loyalty
Date: November 8, 2009, 3:18 PM PST

Bryan,

Well, at least most of the roster. I didn’t see Nash, Steiner, Sting, Foley, Angle, Tenay or Taz.

Did you guys get a weird vibe from that segment where she demands unwavering and unquestioning loyalty from the TNA wrestlers?

I laughed when she said if you are not prepared to give 100%, then you will be working somewhere else. I had heard that some wrestlers on her roster specifically WANT to leave TNA but can’t get releases from their contracts.

I’m thinking Dixie enjoys being on tv, which isn’t good. I also figure this is laying the groundwork for Dixie to play the heel owner/authority figure to confound Hulk Hogan when he finally shows up on tv more regularly. Unless it was real, in which case it just didn’t belong on tv.

In any event, it made TNA seem small time to me.

Vinnie Vegas
Las Vegas, NV

www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8ax0Y5zf64

www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7txeOlujTc

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVYDA5ko940

Blue Oyster Cult -- Godzilla

Lyrics:
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting high tension wires down

Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them

He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town

Oh no, they say hes got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah

Rinji news o moshiagemasu!
Rinji news o moshiagemasu!
Godzilla ga ginza hoomen e mukatte imasu!
Daishkyu hinan shite kudasai!
Daishkyu hinan shite kudasai!

Oh no, they say hes got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah

History shows again and again
How nature points up the folly of men
Godzilla!

Moe, Larry and Curly are gas station attendants who blow up an automobile with three foreign professors going to Mildew’s Girl College. The Stooges change into the professors’ clothes and impersonate them at the school. In class, the Stooges teach the girls how to “Swing the Alphabet,” and follow up by teaching Mrs. Catsby how to play basketball, Stooge-style!

Swingin’ The Alphabet is from Violent is the Word for Curly, and proves that the Three Stooges can teach beautiful women anything.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8Pk1UYkB3I

MSNBC’s Contessa Brewer mistakenly refers to Rev  Jesse Jackson as the Rev. Al Sharpton.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CKHFn8mULE

Who doesn’t dream of cruising through life in a tricked up La-Z-Boy? Read more at The Duluth News Tribune…

La-Z-Boy crash leads to DWI in Proctor

A Proctor man driving a motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair hit a parked vehicle while under the influence of alcohol.

Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 62, pleaded guilty Monday in St. Louis County District Court to DWI in connection with the Aug. 31, 2008, incident in Proctor. There were no injuries.

According to the criminal complaint, Anderson drove his motorized chair into a vehicle parked near a Proctor bar. Anderson told police he was traveling from the Keyboard Lounge after consuming approximately eight or nine beers. His blood-alcohol content was measured at 0.29 percent, more than three times the legal limit to drive.

Anderson claimed he was driving the chair fine until a woman jumped on it and knocked the chair off course. He has one prior DWI conviction. He couldn’t be reached for comment Wednesday.

Proctor Deputy Police Chief Troy Foucault said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower with a Briggs & Stratton engine. It has a stereo, cup holders and other custom options, including different power levels.

A National Hot Rod Racing Association sticker is posted on the chair’s head rest. The chair had a small steering wheel, about a third of the size of a golf cart’s, coming straight up from the middle of the La-Z-Boy.

Proctor City Prosecutor Ronald Envall said he charged Anderson under the portion of Minnesota law that makes it a crime to operate a self-propelled motor vehicle while impaired by alcohol or drugs. He declined further comment.

Anderson had to forfeit his motorized chair to Proctor police, who plan to auction it with other forfeited items, Foucault said.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxC3oAD1iUg

Bo Snerdley, Rush Limbaugh’s Official Obama Criticizer (Certified Black Enough To Criticize Barack Obama), speaks to the black community about Rush’s recent problems with The NFL.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxQZ0r51B-4